my tired mother's day wishlist

Since my birthday and Mother's Day are so close together, around this time each year I get a lot of questions from family needing gift ideas... 

Truth is, I don't actually need anything other than clothes that fit...because if I'm being brutally honest, I've been squishing myself into my pre-baby clothes since 2016, and what doesn't already have holes, will soon. No shame, I still wear all of it. 

But more than that, I've been thinking about things that I really want this year...like really want. More than clothes, more than make-up [since I'm out and it's not budgeted for this paycheck], more than an overpriced mani-pedi that will be ruined in 3 days from the duties of motherhood, more than a massage...wait, I take that back. Throw that one in. 

Below is my Tired Mother's Day Wishlist:

1. I'd like for Mother's Day to be declared Opposite Day. We are in what seems to be a never-ending "mommy do's it" phase. "Mommy read it. Mommy get it. Mommy rock. Mommy sit. Mommy go. Mommy come. Mommy, Mom, Mama, Ma, MOMMY, MOM, MOM." If Mother's Day were Opposite Day, Daddy do's it all. 
2. I'd like to take a break from the Keely Carpool for one day, and drive home in silence. I love carpooling with the hubs, don't get me wrong. It's time and cost efficient and who doesn't love that? But... when hubs drives, Mommy tends to just about er'thing else in Toddler World. "Raisins, BootSnacks [aka, Fruit Snacks], elmoooo....book, pictures, WHOLE WORLD, music," + a whole lot of jibberish that even she doesn't understand = a whole lot of noisy chaos. I would like to drive home, at a relaxing 30mph, in complete solitude and silence. 
3. If I can't have number two, I'll settle for a full day without our NPT [No Papi Tantrum] Playlist blaring in my car, house, and brain:
1. He's Got the Whole World in His Hands
2. The Alphabet Song
3. Baby Bumblebee [DEAR LORD who wrote this song?!]
4. Skinny Marinky Dinky Dink
4. An untimed, unscheduled, uninterrupted nap. Every mom is scratching her head right now, "what is that?" Oh, wait...I almost forgot... without the baby monitor.
5. If all of the above is just too unrealistic, I would settle for dinner and a movie for ONE. Yes, one. I love my husband, but we can do date night on our anniversary or any other day. Often times, we end up reminding ourselves of things we need to do or not forget. I need to snooze the reminders/forget the checklist for about 3 hours. Honestly, no conversation with anyone, period, would be glorious. Does that make me terrible? It's just one time..
6. A full cup of HOT coffee....Disclosure: heating it up 2-3 times over an hour does not count.
7. Last, but of course, not least, being stingy with my dinner. I would love to be the only one eating what I have ordered myself for one day. I love Reavey's little fingers, but not on my plate or smushed into my mac and cheese. 

To all you husbands, you're welcome. To mine, any of the above will do. But subtlety out the window, #1 would be the real MVP of Mother's Day gifts. 

 

Happy Early Mother's Day to all you tired mamas!