big girl things

I’m having a moment. A moment of excitement, sadness, bittersweet pride, and mixed into all of that, my moment is being hijacked by pregnancy hormones multiplying it all by 100. My baby girl, now 28 months [I know it’s annoying to not just say “2”...but this is my moment], is spending her first night in her big girl room. We’ve spent the last three months thinking about the decorations, picking out her big girl bed, researching mattresses, and talking up the transition to get her excited about not just giving up her crib, but moving across the hall. Occasionally I had some anxiety and fear about the possibility she wouldn’t stay in her bed, would play all night, would fall out of her bed while asleep. Those are all fears I’m still having as we are only one hour in as I write this. 

I was excited. Ready. Excited and ready to re-organize her stuff, clean out stuff we don’t need, and begin putting together Baby Boy Keely’s nursery [Rea’s Old room]. Why we decided to do that on a Sunday night, when I have a super early work day tomorrow, versus a Friday night, I’ll never know. We do things bass ackards I guess. 

So today we did it. We put together her big girl room minus a few things were still waiting on to be shipped. And Rea loved helping. We went through her stuffies and divided up what she wanted to keep and what she wanted Baby Brother to have. Same with her books. It went really well. Surprisingly well. Brother is even getting to keep an Elmo. That’s huge. 

We tested out naptime and just as I expected, she didn’t really like being alone in a new room. So I laid down with her, and we both napped. She didn’t nap as easily or as long as she normally does in her crib, but I’ll take it. Still worried about the night...

We played the rest of the afternoon in the middle of the absolute mess that was our house after emptying out our only junk room to make way for her big girl things. Every time I would start to clean it up, she’d beg for my attention. “Mommy please play with me.” Ouch. So I complied, reminding myself of my present over perfect journey that I started at the beginning of this year. 

Bedtime came, and she started telling us how scary she thought her room was. Here it comes, I thought. No sleep for any of us tonight. We showed her the monitor, let her take turns watching us and talking to us through the other end, and even playing a version of Simon Says to make her understand that we can always see her and she can always talk to us through it. We read a few books and laid down together on her big girl mattress.

We have a “two” rule at our house. If you’re good, we’ll read two books, and [used to be] mommy will rock and sing for two minutes and daddy will rock and sing for two minutes. Then it’s bedtime. No negotiations. Our rocking chair is staying in baby’s room, and I didn’t realize just how sad that would make me. Instead of rocking, I laid with her and sang for two minutes, then left, while Nick laid and sang with her for two minutes. I was convinced it’d be an hour of crying before Nick came out of her room, but only two minutes later, I hear him shut her door and she hadn’t made a sound. 

She told Nick after his two minutes that she was still scared and that she’d feel safer if Mia stayed. So Mia is currently in there sleeping with her....I want to laugh, roll my eyes, and cry all at once. I started to clean up, RELIEVED she was fine, and realized I wasn’t. I put some stuff in Baby’s room, and got super emotional seeing the rocking chair. I didn’t rock my girl for the first time in 28 months. Oh these hormones are mean. This shouldn’t be getting to me like this. I decided to just stare at her through the monitor and I saw her start to get out of bed. Great. Here we go.. I showed Nick and just when I started to tell him to tell her to get back in the bed, he smiled. She had gotten out of bed to put her books back where they belong, crawled back in, and laid down. 

Bless. This. Sweet. Child. My heart is exploding. I am so proud of her for being brave, for listening, for being a big girl. But I’m so sad that she’s old enough to be so brave and do such big girl things. I am a mess over here thinking about how LONG the days feel but how short the years actually are. Thus my blog post...self-care. We are now an hour and fifteen minutes in, she’s asleep...in her bed. Has not cried. Has not played. Has not screamed or tried to negotiate.

I am fully aware that this could be beginners luck and we will without doubt run into our fair share of frustration with getting her to settle down in the future when a big girl bed offers so much freedom. But for now, I am so so proud, and so so sad that my baby girl is growing up! 

oh boy!

As a couple who swore we’d have all girls, we were totally surprised by the results of our gender scan. But BOY are we excited! When I was pregnant with Reaves, we opted to be surprised with everyone else, and find out together, in front of the camera.

 This time, we accidentally found out early due to my tendency to ignore fine print disclaimers [long story]. We kept this sweet secret for more than two weeks, even from Reaves. I was so anti-gender reveal this time, truthfully for reasons unknown. Maybe it was because toddler world and pregnancy have me exhausted and totally unmotivated to clean my house. However, Nick was set on having something to celebrate and share the news with our people. He made the argument that what we do for one, we must do for the other. And as a second child myself, I could appreciate his logic. So celebrate we did. We hosted a 

"Bun in the Oven, Burgers on the Grill" 

cookout for our closest family and friends. The amazing Amy Clifton Keely captured the most precious pictures that evening, of course. I tell ya, we are truly blessed by her talent and friendship. Such an added bonus that she's family :) 

I'm pretty sure everyone was convinced we were having a boy. Probably because my pregnancies have been totally different. 

• With Reaves, I was constantly sick between weeks 5 and 17. I was on four Diclegis per day to help with nausea. With Baby Boy, no sickness whatsoever.
• With Reaves, I was falling asleep mid-conversation...often, and was dependent on a nap right after work, before dinner. With Baby Boy, I've been tired, but have managed to maintain most of my energy while keeping up with my toddler. 
• With Reaves, I gained 15 lbs in the first trimester...couldn't wear my rings past week 10...and had the dreaded pregnancy nose by the time of my gender reveal at 20 weeks. With Baby Boy, I haven't gained a single pound. I've maintained my pre-pregnancy weight, and managed to make it to week 14 before opting for my enso wedding band. My nose...well let's just be honest, it's always big. 
• With Reaves, I craved sweets. Anything with sugar. Anything with carbs. Anything edible. With Baby Boy, I don't have many absurd cravings. The only thing I've really wanted that I had to have was orange juice and [one time], broccoli and eggs (together). 

Naturally, you wonder if it's the opposite gender of your first when your pregnancy is SO different, but back in our minds, we just knew we were going to be an all-girl kind of family. Nick is really good at being a girl dad, and anyone who knows him, knows he loves to dress up just as much as any little girl [he's going to kill me for that]. 

We kept it simple. I need easy. I need effortless. I need minimal stress. No crazy decor. No pricey catering. Just burgers on the grill, beer in the cooler [obvi for everyone else], and our loved ones. Oh and cake...there must always be cake.

Also, my dad is never wrong. He has predicted every gender, correctly, for everyone in and close to our family. He must have some sort of sixth sense. And of course, his spotless ❤record continues - he voted ALL BOY.

God's plans are always so much better than our own. I think blessing us with a boy is just another example of his grace. He knows we can't handle much more sass in our house right now. Looking forward to Baby Boy Keely joining our family in January!

my minivan conundrum

Common question among growing families...

Minivan versus SUV?

I see this question circulate social media daily. For me? There used to be no question about it. No minivan; not now, not ever. I would've taken this to my grave two years ago. I would honestly laugh at my friends who considered buying one and say that this was goodbye to all things cool and they should go ahead and purchase their mom jeans and fanny pack. Interestingly enough, both of which are back in style. 

We have a Toyota Highlander which has a third row, so I figured our first four kids' carseats will fit comfortably. I didn't quite consider the ergonomics of getting them into said carseats. Only one side of our backseat slides forward to allow you to squeeze into the third row... I hope these first two kiddos are old enough to climb back on their own and buckle themselves in, or I'm going to need an athletic trainer for Baby #3. Then again, I'm 30, so time isn't really on my side to become the next American Ninja Warrior. Buckling in my squirmy toddler without banging her head on the top of the car is difficult enough, especially when trying to keep her rear facing as long as possible [she's fine; plenty of brain cells to go around]. I, however, very well may have developed a hernia.

So here's my minivan conundrum. 

The doors. Let's talk about the doors. As horrible as I've always thought minivans to be, I am super envious of those sliding doors. This is probably the best thing the minivan has going for it, in my opinion. I didn't truly come to appreciate that amazing function until I tried locking in a carrier to its base in the first few hours of being a mom. Holding the door open, trying not to bang up the car next to me, while single-handedly lifting 15-25 lbs carefully, quietly, and at just the right angle through a small opening to click it into place...and for the first year (for us) in the middle seat. God forbid the child is sleeping, at which point, I apologize to the car next to us. When choosing between the other car and waking my sleeping infant, I choose to sustain the nap. Every time. I honestly avoided going anywhere while on maternity leave if it meant Nick couldn't go with me. The in and out of a parking lot was overwhelming for this reason. Oh how handy handsfree entry would be. I hear they now have come out with Foot-Swipe Sliding Doors [jaw drops]. Job well done. Gosh how I only wish an SUV would come out with sliding doors. 

Pre-Reaves, I used to hear moms say "oh but it has a built-in vacuum and a cooler." Big deal, I'd say. Back then, my only thought of needing a cooler was to keep my beer cold, and why would I need that built into my car? That's asking for trouble. And the vacuum? Why can't you just pull into QT and pay $1.00 or do it at home? Just clean your car out regularly like everyone else... HA! Because moms have so much free time and all... 

Post-Reaves, about that cooler...

The number of times I'm asked in our 20-minute drive home from daycare for milk, apple juice, oranges, watermelon, popsicles, or yogurt... I would say it totals 20. One request per minute. That cooler = GENIUS and necessary for mama's sanity. 

About that vacuum...

Lord. Have. Mercy. My car can be 100% clean on the way to school. Freshly vacuumed, books/toys/diapers organized. By the time we pull into our driveway at the end of that SAME day, it looks as though I've been living out of it for a week, transporting ten teenagers to and from soccer practice...who decided to have a food fight. How does this happen? How can one tiny human make such a mess? God bless those minivans for their built-in vacuums. I'm sorry for undermining your awesomeness. 

Easy-speak. Who are these people creating this stuff? Well, parents, for sure. Oh my goodness. A built-in microphone that amplifies your voice to passengers in the backseat. If I'm planning on putting kids in the third row, let me warm up those local cords now. Lots of yelling in my future. 

Integrated Window Shades. Seriously? Minivans, you're solving yet another argument for our family. I can't tell you how much money we've spent on trying to find a decent window shade that actually covers the parts of the window where sun shines through. Without fail, sun always manages to peek through, blinding Reaves from all angles...thus a toddler tantrum...thus more demands for snacks. Back to the cooler and vacuum features.

Touchscreen entertainment. We're not big "screen" parents, but desperate times, man...

Infotainment touch screens on the back of each headrest with HDMI and USB options. I'm pretty sure we have to ghetto-rig our iPad to the headrest using cables while utilizing a month's worth of data for Netflix movies when we go on trips.

Stow-n-Go...my mind is so blown, I don't even fully understand this. Some models of minivans have storage systems to store unused seats in underfloor compartments - allowing over 200 seating positions. Is this real? And the Easy Tilt...to allow easy and effortless access to the third row. Well, Highlander, I challenge you. Help a sista out with making this more possible!

Cargo behind the Third Row. There is maybe enough space in my Highlander to fit a flat piece of cardboard behind my third row when it's up. There is no sacrificing cargo space behind a third row in a minivan. I suppose it's unsightly torpedo shape/length is actually quite needed. I'm sure that feature will be at the top of my list of "necessities" when our third child comes along and the third row is being used. 

Ultimately, I love my Highlander, but it's got nothing on all of the above. I still like to ride with my windows down jamming to Ludacris every now and then...I can't do this in a minivan [speaking of judgments]. 

We recently traded Nick's Jeep in for a sedan. During the painful paperwork process, we walked around the floor at the dealership and came across the mac-daddy of all minivans. So mac-daddy, I would've needed a sugar-daddy to afford it. But Nick was intrigued, and that's huge. As parents, we're learning to never say "never." I would have never even considered a minivan, but this season is all about survival as we are about to enter life with two littles. I feel like I'm in the process of crossing over, and I'm embarrassed to admit it, which means I'm not ready to fully commit. I'll just support you minivan moms and admire how efficient your momming game is compared to mine. 

Now if a model comes out with a way to heat up cold coffee, or keep my kids shoes on...I'm sold. Sign me up.